02/14/14
Valentine's Day?
THIS IS NOT an ordinary day for me. I don't buy candy, flowers or cards (just part of the crass commercialization that all holidays have become --- but I'm not going to rant today). This is a day for watching a gorgeous Ess Eff sunset, observing a fire crackle in the fireplace, looking at the view from a quiet mountain lake, and holding hands with your significant other. To celebrate it properly, one should take the entire day off from our hustling, teeth-gritting, stomach-churning routines.
* * *
"You organize your life that way
For minutes and days and years away
And put your pencils in their stall
Then you've done Nothing At All."
* * *
I THINK OF A SPECIAL GIRL, disarmingly attractive from head to toe, not only to me. She had this same effect on many other men, perhaps more than she could handle; I wouldn't know. I do know that I'd never met such an enchanting creature: half imp, half elf, every milliliter fascinating to it's core. For a long while she meant everything to me, and for shorter periods of time me to her. There was nothing we could not share in that marvelous spectrum of emotions we call life. I chased her for years --- there were other men, other adventures, other people --- way too many for her to pass up. She lived life to its full potential; I got on with mine but the fire never burned out. I was miserable when I could not be with her. I began my career.
* * *
"You write your pages by the hour;
Plan your work and meals and shower.
Planning one two three four five
For what to do while you're alive."
* * *
SHE FINALLY RELENTED and we moved in together. For a while we shared everything, from the best of times to the worst. We grew apart. She suggested we should separate; I resisted. Ultimately I agreed, more in anger and hurt than any desire for her to leave. She sensed this and told me she would not go until she was sure we could be friends. I did not appreciate the wisdom and maturity of her words, and I did not let go easily --- it took me a year to assent. It was a tough year for both of us. We talked haltingly and uneasily for years. She married a fine man and they bore two wonderful children. I let my heart go a couple more times, but it wasn't the same. After twenty years together, her husband died unexpectedly. She was devastated and shocked; we began talking a bit in fits and starts. About ten years ago I got wind of one of our childhood heroes, Paul McCartney, coming to town. I called her and we went. It was then I began to realize what she meant about being friends --- better late than never, I suppose. Meanwhile, our lives went on, ever more full and demanding.
* * *
"The phone that interrupts you rings
With busy people and busy things.
Now you're gonna miss your train:
These interruptions are to blame."*
* * *
HOW WOULD THINGS have worked out if we'd stayed together? I doubt it would have been trailing clouds of joy. One can never know about such things. One can only guess. But it can be a beautiful guess. Valentine's day is a constant; it arrives every Feb. 14th, and like I said at the beginning it's no ordinary day with me. It was on this day, so many years ago, that we met.
====================================
*Poetry © 1984 by Doug Heeschen, one of my best friends and whom I had the privilege of composing with.
To hear the music to the lyrics, go to https://home.comcast.net/~heeschen/wsb/media/NothingAtAll.mp3
Contact willschneider7648@gmail.com or call (415)202-7697 8AM-4PM PST
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