01/31/14
What --- Me Wordy?
SEEMS THERE'S A SLIGHT KERFUFFLE about whether the construction specs for the East Bay Bridge where properly adhered to. Don't like to blow my own horn (just watch me) but This Column Had It First! It was common news about the faulty bolts. On Oct. 14th, I wrote: "No worries, assured the contractor --- we've got it all under control. Did you know that if the bridge had not opened on time, the contractor would've had to forfeit a $30million bonus? Just reporting." Well, it opened on time all right --- on time but of questionable quality. Charges are that Caltrans papered over the whole scandal and paid another $25mil for a kwik-fix retrofit. There are further assertions that the problems weren't fixed well enough for the bridge to last its expected lifetime and more work will be necessary. Should we get our $30mil back? That's a no-brainer, but my suspicion is by the time we do that, it will cost $3 - 4billion in legal fees. At least we can learn a lesson for the future --- uh, yeah, right . . . I Love Trivia Dept: The Beatles came to our shores 50 years ago next week. They immediately had five songs on the top ten, plus a movie and numerous other singles and best selling albums thruout the year. And who won the Grammy that year? "Girl from Ipanema" by Stan Getz and some lady whose name I don't remember (great song, but hey). According to Joe Scarborough ("Morning Joe", best thing on in the morning but you gotta get up @ 3AM PST to see it), the first time the Fab Four won the award wasn't until after John Lennon was killed, although I seem to recall Paul McCartney bounding up to the stage to accept an award for the group in 1970 or 1971. America trusts you --- say it ain't so, Joe! . . . The Navy has christened its newest nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, the USS Gerald Ford. The vessel partially destroyed the launching pad on its way out, ran over three tugboats and a number of fishing trawlers, punched a hole in its side ramming the Rock of Gibraltar, causing six aircraft and 72 sailors to fall overboard, finally sinking in the Black Sea, where it slammed into a Russian nuclear submarine, causing both to explode. The Ghost of Gerald Ford came back to say: "Now there is ABSOLUTELY no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe." Actually it may be Jimmy Carter who said that, but then the joke wouldn't have worked and who cares anyway when the whole thing was a fabrication. Facts, schmacts; enter here at your own risk.
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DID YOU SEE Rand Paul on Meet Depressed last Sunday? B4 I get to my mini-rant, have you checked out this guys hair? If he's the wave of the future we'll all need to stock up on mousse (I prefer chocolate). Actually Sen. Rand is so pro-gun he probably uses real moose. At any rate, he was on his high horsie about how the media "gave President Clinton a pass" on the Monica Lewinski affair. "To take advantage of a 20-year old in a public office" --- omy omy what a horrible abuse of power! So a couple of obfuscations: z) It is rumored that Mr. Paul wants to be our next President (memo to Rand: WHY? Have you seen how we treat them? But I digest). How long will it be before you figure a way to tie this to Mrs. Clinton? I don't see how you do this and come out looking good. And MCMLX) You also upchucked the comment: "And they say we Republicans are conducting a war on women!" Okay, first things first. A man having a consensual sexual affair with another adult is disgusting, particularly if he's married. But it's really nobodies business. The Clintons seemed to have patched up their differences (a lot of patching on Bill's part and a lot of forgiveness on Hillary's, who I believe was blindsided by the whole thing. And let's not forget Monica, who was thrown under the bus) and moved on. I don't think moseying down this road will garner you many fans. And the media gave him a pass? I seem to recall an impeachment and a trial. Regarding the War On Women: I don't see how Bill Clinton's War On Himself rises to the level of denying a woman's right to be in control of her own body and have easy access to the information and other forms of treatment designed to assure that right. I also don't see how it relates to women's treatment in society at large, including way too much sexual harassment, 77 cents for every dollar men make --- the list goes on. Clean up your own backyard, Sen. Rand --- if you're wanting to be a national figure; why, I'm just asking the easy questions . . . Other mini-rant: To Rush Outtatouch, Glen Belch, and all the other wing nuts who constantly relish accusing President Obama of playing the Race Card: The guy's HALF-WHITE! He plays the race card every day --- with himself!
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I LOVE ALEX WITT and her great MSNBC weekend show. But last week she had some political commentator on and they were crying in their soup about the aggressive agenda the President laid out in his last State Of The Union speech and what a disappointment the results had been. Ms. Witt opined: "After New Town, I really thought we had a shot at doing something about gun control." Hope this was an ad-lib, Alex, not something you read off the teleprompter. Kinda reminds me of the Senator (I think it was Waxman) who, expressing his frustration at the length of time the Clinton impeachment trial was taking, blurted out: "Let's get all the facts on the table so we can wrap this sucker up!" . . . Loved Willie Browns comment in his Sunday column: "What is it about Jerry Brown? Every time he's Governor, we have a drought." Well, I think it has more to do with between his stints as Secretary of State, Governor, candidate for President and Senator, radio talk show host, Mayor of Oakland, Attorney General and then Governor again, when has he NOT been in the public eye over the last 40 years? By the way, is Willie reading S.R.? On Jan. 10th, I said I liked the Warriors stadium, but only if it wasn't surrounded by a bunch of high rise condos and other outsize development of the area. Emailed a copy to Mr. Brown. In his column Jan. 19th, Da Mayor chimed in with the same viewpoint. Come on, sir, give a struggling writer a plug! . . . Riddle Me This Dept: If you were to create an album of favorite cat songs, what would you call it? How about "Meow Mix? . . . Haven't had enough? OK, why are they called wisdom teeth? Because if the dentist extracts enough of them they can put their kids thru college . . . Don't know about you, but I've definitely had enough.
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FROM AUTHOR SUSAN ORLEAN: "If newspapers stop their print editions, what will cats sit on when you're trying to read?"
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The bigger they are, the harder they fall
These big-iddy boys are dig-gidy dogs
I have 'em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off
Twerking in their bras and willschneider7648@gmail.com
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