4/18/14

Boston Marathon --- One Year Later

IT'S BEEN A YEAR since the Boston Marathon Day bombings, and so what?  Another day, another assault.  But I see this one differently.  I was proud to be an American when this event occurred, and I was just as proud last Tuesday when EVERYBODY, including the survivors of the blast, turned out to pay homage to one of the greatest cities in the greatest country on the planet, despite our best-laid plans to screw things up.

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BOSTON IS EVERYBODY'S favorite city, except for all the others we love.  I got a lump in my throat hearing all the accolades on Tuesday, much the same feeling I get when watching the July 4th fireworks.  And how about the Vice President?  What an enthusiastic, down to earth guy.  Where was he in 2000 when we could have used a guy with a little personality to go after Bush, who also had an abundance of same?  Wait a sec;  I was talking about Boston.  Our country in general and Boston in particular really stepped up to the plate on this.  We didn't allow ourselves to be dragged into an over-reaction like 9/11.  We didn't overreact at first, for awhile we were all Americans.   We properly honored those who had lost their lives, although a lot of the rescue workers didn't get proper care years down the road.  Thanks, govt.  And thanks again, govt., for trying to pin the war on Iraq and Afghanistan, who had nothing to do with the event.  It was planned by Osama Bin Laden and carried out by 19 worthless cowards whose loyalty was to no country, just a very misguided loyalty to Allah.  George Bush said he wanted Bin Laden "Dead or alive."  Then the trail went cold and the President decided that Iraq was more important and that finding Bin Laden wasn't such a big priority.  On President Obama's first day in office, he called Secretary Pinetta (CIA) into his office and told him to make catching Bin Laden a top priority.  Two years later the job was done.  The divisions in our country have still not healed.

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NOT SO BOSTON.  Was it the work of a whole bunch of terrorists or some foreign enemy?  Maybe, but not so fast.  These two were not only cowards;  they were stupid cowards.  How could they not have known there would be cameras EVERYWHERE?  They could have set the bombs off at any place along the race, but they chose the most watched portion.  Duh.  So the cops, working methodically and way too much overtime, found grainy pictures of the perps.  They waited a day, then released the pictures.  This apparently alarmed the two pond scum and they began doing even dumber things that drew attention to them, such as hijacking cars and involving themselves in chases with the police --- usually not your best fallback plan.  The cops cornered them, shots were exchanged, maybe killing the older brother, but we'll never know because younger brother, in his haste to escape, hijacked another car and RAN OVER his sibling.  So much for family love.  By this time the cops had closed down a good deal of the city and because of their exemplary conduct the citizenry was happy to cooperate and help.  One neighbor noticed something suspicious in his backyard boat, alerted the authorities and, after a brief gunfire exchange, mission accomplished.  Editorial note:  Being a peace officer is a rotten, thankless job.  You have to be suspicious of virtually everyone.  Too many cops let this get the better of them.  But this is an example of the police doing everything right.  I hope they all got special recognition.  Icing on the cake:  The Red Sox won the World Series.  Boston Proud, Boston Strong.

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OTHER PLACES, OTHER THINGS:  An Oregon pimp who used his Air Jordan sneakers to stomp a client's face is suing Nike for failing to warn him that its product was "potentially dangerous".  Isn't stomping on someone's face potentially dangerous?  Anyway, he's been sentenced to 100 years at Club Fed . . . Have you heard about this cattle owner in Nevada?  He's had his animals grazing on govt. land for the last couple of decades or so.  The powers that be want about a million bucks in back pay.  Rancher says no way, this is public land.  Anybody want to lay odds on how this one will turn out?  The government may not be good at much, but they are terrific at getting their hands on our money.  The rancher is trying to organize some folks to back him up in his crusade.  Saw a few on the tube.  Trust me, these folks couldn't organize a fart at a chili cook off . . . There's a rumor around that Jesus was married and had an extended family.  So  did Jesus' nephew call Mrs. Jesus Auntie Christ (okay, quit shoving.  I was leaving anyway)?

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FROM EZRA POUND:  "I have not met anyone worth a damn who was not irascible."

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Mary had a little lamb,

A lobster and some prunes;

A piece of pie, a glass of milk

And then some macaroons.

It made the naughty waiters grin

To see her order so.

And when they carried Mary out

Her face was white as willschneider7645@gmail.com

Open for business Noon-4pm PST @ (415)202-7697

  

04/11/14

Look Who's Here

I'VE BEEN AWAY.  Well, no, I've been right here.  Mr. Schneider is on vacation.  Nope.  Haven't even been to Oakland.  Schnide has been ill.  True enough, but not physically.  I've got it.  Will has been off.  Actually, if you get close to me that has a bit of accuracy.  Wotineck do I tell all my regular reader?  One wrote.  "I look forward to Fridays.  Where the h-e-doulble hockey sticks have you been?"  Bless you, what a great upper for moi.  Anyway, I'm back.  Lucky you.  As the guy on The Ed Show (I think his name is Ed) likes to say, "Let's get to work."  Right.

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ITEM ITEM HOOSGOTTANITEM?  Have you heard an airliner crashed?  Somewhere off the coast of Australia.  First they found debris --- that was it.  Um, nope, sorry.  Then they found the location of the crash.  They've now found about four potential locations.  Sorry, not good enough.  BUT WAIT!  We're getting pings --- they must be coming from the black box!  Nope, that didn't do it, but stay tuned.  How can you help it?  Here's the story:  A plane went missing a month ago.  Nobody knows how or why. THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY. But the news networks have pulled out all the stops.  You can watch Fixed News;  a lot of entertainment and a very loose relationship with fact.  Fair and balanced?  Pardon me, I feel convulsions coming on (though I do enjoy Chris Wallace and Mike Huckabee).  Then there's Constant News Network.  Here's our next one-hour special on the missing plane.  WHOOP'S!  There's been a mudslide in Washington!  What to do what to do whadda****dowedo?  Hey, we've got it!  We'll have a one hour special about the plane, followed by a one hour special on the mudslide, followed by a one hour special on the plane, followed by --- well, you get it.  The network to tune into if you need to catch up on your sleep (though I do enjoy Candy Crowley as well as Anderson Cooper).  Then there's MSNBC, or, as it's known from 7pm Friday until 1am Monday, Boring Prison Crap.  Here's a network with archives going back 65 years, and this is the best they can do? I will give them credit for being the first network to get back to their irregular programing. "The place for politics"?  How about "The place for boringly repetitive liberal politics" (though I do enjoy Joe Scarborough and Chris Matthews)? 

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NOW WE'VE DRONED OVER TO IRAN, where its semiofficial news agency Fars claims that NSA secret document leaker Edward Snowden has offered "incontrovertible proof" that the U.S. is being run by a "shadow government" of space aliens.  No wonder the govt. is so pissed off at you, Eddie . . . Bad week for a Mexico City motorist who was pulled over by the cops for suspicious driving.  When said police approached the car, the guys pet parrot blurted out "He's drunk!  He's drunk!"  Sure enough, a test showed the bird was right.  The fellow is now looking into a pet turtle . . . Hey!  Dick Cheney's found work!  He'll be teaching a class at the University of Wyoming titled "Safety Tips While Hunting (tip #1:  stay away from older white guys).  How many of you even remember what I'm on about?  Let's face it, I'm old . . . Off to Deadwood, S.D., where businessman Greg Vecchi has announced plans to open an indoor shooting range and saloon.  He assures us he'll see to it that customers use his services in the right order:  "Bullets first, beer second."  Good luck with your endeavor, sir . . . Rep. Paul Ryan has presented us with yet another budget, much like the ones that weren't adopted in 2011, 2012 and 2013.  Some folks just don't get it.  This budget has about as much chance of becoming reality as a heat wave in the Himalayas . . . We've wrapped up the second week of the baseball season and we all know what that means --- the Mets have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs . . . Should we raise the minimum wage?  Should the sun rise in the east?  Families on minimum wage are living at poverty levels.  If we brought them up to a living wage maybe they wouldn't have to depend on so much government assistance, which the taxpayers have to pony up for.  Come on, Republicans, this is a no-brainer . . . Gratuitous joke for real old-timers:  Roy Rogers is out on the range one day, sporting his brand new suede cowboy boots.  A wildcat comes up, strips off the shoes and mangles them.  Roy schleps back home and shows the shoes to Dale Evans, who is of course empathetic.  A few hours later they are relaxing by the fire when Dale spots a wildcat out the window.  She turns and says, "Pardon me, Roy --- is that the cat that chewed your new shoes (Ya! Ya! Track twenty-nine)?"

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THE PUTIN UPDATE:  A little less than eighty years ago a foreign leader held a grand show off Olympics in his country.  He left an ethnic minority alone for a couple of weeks.  Then he sent troops across the border of a neighboring country, saying he was just reclaiming original land of his empire.  He assured the world he had no further territorial demands, all the while amassing troops on the border of another country.  We all know how that turned out, don't we?  We've got to take this monster down.  Boots on the ground won't work, that kind of war is outmoded for us, as the last 15 years have proven.  I like the President's idea of putting sanctions on some of Putrid's big business buddies;  that certainly can't hurt.  My sources also tell me that one of the few world leaders this thug pays attention to is German Chancellor Merkell, who seems willing to get involved.  I was very proud of myself for putting these observations together.  Then I read that Hillary Clinton had already done it.  Whatta --- whatta --- what a rhymes with witch.

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MIGHT AS WELL CLOSE with a quote from Hillary:  "In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7.  Well, I want you all to know that I'm keeping a chart," said the witch.*

*"I am not a witch." --- HRC*

*"Yes you are." --- Schnide

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You are my sunshine,

My only sunshine.

You make me happy

When skies are gray.

You'll never know, dear

How much I love you.

Please don't take my willschneider7648@gmail.com

Open for business noon-4pm PST @ (415)202-7697

Hey kids!  Like that rock n' roll?  Look up my blog from 2/14, press on icon at end.  Hot socks!